the_fake_showsfandomcom-20200213-history
Transcript:A New Phil
The following page is a transcript for the ''BABYSITTER'' episode, A New Phil ''(full episode). Cast *Peyton List as Madison *Kyle Massey as Samuel *Nausheen Ali as Babusha *Andrew McNee as Matthew *Mark Galla as Phil *Graham Cameron as Million Bucks Bill *Kevin Chamberlin as "Fake" Phil *''Unknown ''as Receptionist *''Unknown ''as Burglar *Mia Talerico as Little Girl *''Unknown ''as Little Girl's mom Transcript HOTEL ROOM '''Babushka:' pom-poms Give me a B! Give me an A! Give me another B! Give me a U! Give me an S! Give me a H! Give me a K! Give me an A! What does that spell? Babushka! Samuel: Give me an S! Give me a H! Give me a U! Give me a T! Give me another U! Give me a P! What does that spell? Babushka: Actually, I don’t know. Samuel: It spells “Shut Up”! Babushka: eyes Madison: rushing down the stairs and flops on the couch. She turns on the TV Okay, everybody be quiet! Babushka: Why, what’s wrong? Madison: It’s this new television program. It’s about all these updates on these new TV shows and webcasts. I hope my one is on it! Phil: door with a different appearance I’m home! Samuel: Who are you? Phil: I’m Phil! Samuel: I know you are but where is Phil? song Phil: 'I’m Phil. You know the Phil that you know and supposedly love? '''Babushka: '''Did Phil bring you up or something? Because you are not the Phil we know and supposedly not love. '''Matthew: 'room Hey guys! 'EVERYONE: '''Hey! '''Madison: '''Where’s Boo, Boo? '''Matthew: '''In the sink, taking a bath. '''Boo, Boo: 'taking a bath 'EVERYONE: 'Laughs 'Matthew: '''Yeah, look at him, just sitting there and not even splashing! '''Boo, Boo: 'water in Matthew’s face 'Matthew: '''So I’ve heard. '''Babushka: '''Um, if you don’t mind me, I’m going to go and practice my cheerleading routine. Go team! Go, go, go team! Go, go, go team! Go, go, go, go, go team! two pompoms together causing pain '''Madison: '''Oh my god! Shut up! It’s about my webcast! It’s about my webcast! Shhhhhh! '''News Reporter: 'TV It turns out that the new web show, “The Madison Show” has been canceled. It turns out that a few weeks ago, Madison filmed her so called “family” cleaning up, and then played Scruffy The Dog, which has been banned from TV for over ten years. 'Madison: '''How was I supposed to know that Scruffy was banned? He’s adorable! '''News Reporter: 'TV Not only had her webcast has been canceled, but her whole website it shut down. This is a criminal defense, and the police is on their way right…now. large bangs 'Madison: 'Screams Um, if they come looking for me, tell them I moved to Australia. away 'Police Officer: '''I’m looking for Madison. You know the one that’s starring in that new movie with Zac Efron? Madison Hutchens, the movie star. '''Babushka: '''Look, my hands hurt. '''Police Officer: '''Look- '''Babushka: '''And we don’t know some “movie star” so just get out of here, alright? '''Police Officer: '''Look, little girl- '''Babushka: '''I’m NOT a little girl. I. Have. Lawyers. '''Madison: 'room again Hi there. I’m Madison from “The Madison Show”. My webcast got cancelled because I played Scruffy The Dog. 'Police Officer: '''Why would they do that? Scruffy is adorable. Good day. '''Madison: 'a sigh of relief SCHOOL: HALLWAY 'Madison: '''Ugh, I can’t believe my web show got cancelled! '''Samuel: '''You’re still on about that? '''Madison: 'him a weird look 'Samuel: '''Sorry. '''Babushka: '''Hey guys! Check out my new cheerleading uniform! '''Samuel: '''Um, weren’t you wearing one yesterday? '''Babushka: '''No, I actually stole that one. You know what makes this better? Because it has “BABUSHKA” on my back! around and shows Madison and Samuel '''Madison and Samuel: 'out laughing 'Babushka: '''What’s so funny? '''Madison: '''It spells “BABUSH”. '''Babushka: 'Yelps I just got ripped off… 'Phil: '''Hey guys! '''Samuel: '''What are you doing here? '''Phil: '''I’m the new substitute teacher here! '''Madison: '''Substitute? Where is Phil anyway? '''Phil: '''I am Phil! '''Babushka: '''You don’t look like him. point and laugh at Babushka '''Babushka: '''WHAT?! '''Phil: '''What are you talking about? '''Madison: '''Take a look. Phil a mirror '''Phil: 'in mirror, screams and drops the mirror on the ground, shattering it into pieces 'Madison: '''Thanks a lot. '''Phil: '''Look, I know I had plastic surgery to remove a mole yesterday, but they must’ve change my appearance. '''Babushka: '''You got ripped off. '''Phil: '''Exactly! You know what, after work today, I’m going to go down to that hospital and demand to change me back! '''Babushka: '''And I got some demanding to do for myself. B.R.B. SCHOOL: PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE '''Babushka: '''Hello, Miss Martinez. '''Miss Martinez: '''Hi Babushka! '''Babushka: '''Can I ask you something? '''Miss Martinez: 'Nods 'Babushka: '''Why does it say “BABUSH” on my back?! '''Miss Martinez: '''What do you mean? '''Babushka: '''I asked for “BABUSHKA”, not “BABUSH”! '''Miss Martinez: '''Well, on a cheerleading uniform, it can only hold a maximum of six characters. '''Babushka: '''S…six characters?! Couldn’t you at least put “BUBBIE” instead? '''Miss Martinez: '''What’s “Bubbie”? '''Babushka: '''Well, all through pre-school- '''Miss Martinez: '''Wasn’t that just recently? '''Babushka: '''All my classmates used to call me “Bubbie”. '''Miss Martinez: “'Bubbie”? 'Babushka: '''Yes, “Bubbie”. '''Miss Martinez: '''That sounds like what a baby would call a baby. '''Babushka: '''So…can you fix the uniforms or not?! '''Miss Martinez: '''Well, to be able to make new uniforms, I’m going to recycle yours. So hand it over. '''Babushka: '''But…I’m not wearing any uniform under this. '''Miss Martinez: '''I don’t care. '''Babushka: 'takes clothes off and is left in a singlet and underwear point and laugh at her 'Babushka: '''WHAT?! HOSPITAL: RECEPTION '''Phil: '''Hey there. '''Receptionist: '''Yes, may I help you? '''Phil: '''Um, I had plastic surgery to remove a mole here yesterday and you must’ve changed my appearance. '''Receptionist: '''You know I had plastic surgery when I was younger? '''Phil: '''You don’t understand. My own family doesn’t even recognize me. '''Receptionist: '''My own husband doesn’t even recognize me. Look. the computer on her desk to show a picture of a girl '''Phil: '''Whoa. Anyway, can you please change me back? '''Receptionist: '''You know how much money that would cost? '''Phil: '''How much? '''Receptionist: '''One Million Dollars. '''Phil: '''One Million Dollars? Just for the surgery? '''Receptionist: '''Yep. '''Phil: '''But I don’t have that kind of money. '''Receptionist: '''I don’t care. If you don’t have the money, we can’t do that surgery. Sorry. '''Phil: '''Wait, I’ll prove it. I’ll empty my pockets, see… objects out as he says them fourteen bucks, a stick of gum…and look a raisin! raisin in his mouth, chews it and coughs it out That is NOT a raisin! '''Receptionist: '''I’m sorry. No money, no surgery. '''Phil: '''Fine! You don’t get my fourteen bucks, or my stick of gum. up raisin off the ground and kisses it It’s okay, little buddy. raisin back in his pocket HOTEL ROOM '''Matthew: '''Whoa, what happened to you? '''Babushka: '''It turns out that I wore my cheerleading outfit to school, but they spelt my name wrong so they had to recycle it. '''Matthew: '''They had to recycle your uniform? '''Babushka: '''Yep, but it’s worth it, because my new one says, “BUBBIE”. '''Matthew: '“Bubbie”? 'Babushka: '''Well, all through pre-school- '''Matthew: '''Wasn’t that just recently? '''Babushka: '''All my classmates used to call me “Bubbie”. '''Matthew: '“Bubbie”? 'Babushka: '''Yes, “Bubbie”. '''Matthew: '“Bubbie” sounds like what a baby would call a baby. on the door 'Babushka: '''That must be it! door '''Delivery Guy: '''Delivery for “Bubbie”. '''Babushka: '''That’s me! large box '''Delivery Guy: '''Are you sure you can carry that, little girl? '''Babushka: '''I’m NOT a little girl. I. Have. Lawyers. '''Delivery Guy: '''Um, here, have a raisin. Babushka a raisin '''Babushka: '''Thanks. door Wow, the delivery guy gave me a free raisin! raisin in mouth, coughs it up and spits it out That is NOT a raisin! I’ll just go and try on my new uniform. '''Babushka: 'down stairs in a tight cheerleading uniform 'Matthew: 'Laughs 'Babushka: '''It doesn’t matter if it’s tight, because it says “BUBBIE” on my back. '''Matthew: '''It says “BABOON” actually. '''Babushka: '''Ugh I got ripped off again! I’ll just practice. pompoms Go team! Go, go team! Go, go team! Go, go, go, go, go team! in the air and lands in the splits painfully '''Matthew: 'Gasps 'Babushka: '''Aw, here comes the pain! break SCHOOL: HALLWAY '''Madison and Samuel: 'to eachother 'Phil: '''Hey guys! Hey, where's Babushka? '''Madison: '''She sent me this phone message this morning. Phil the phone with a video message on it '''Babushka: 'phone Hey, Mads. It's me. You might be wondering why I'm not in school today. I'm kind of in a tough situation. out to show legs in the splits Yeah, it hurt. Anyway, see you later. Bye! 'Madison: 'phone off and places it in pocket 'Phil: '''Whoa. How did that happen? '''Samuel: '''We have no idea. '''Madison: '''So anyway, how did it go at the hospital? '''Phil: '''Bad. It turns out I need a million dollars to change me back. '''Madison: '''What?! '''Samuel: '''I don't even have that money! '''Madison: '''You seriously don't have the money? '''Phil: '''No. Here, I'll empty out my pockets. money out of pocket Forteen bucks- '''Samuel: 'money I'll take that! 'Phil: 'gum out of pocket A stick of gum- 'Madison: 'gum I'll take that! 'Phil: 'raisin out of pocket And a raisin! beeps 'Madison: 'phone out of pocket and opens it to a video message 'Babushka: 'phone Don't eat the raisin! 'Madison: '''Babushka, what are you doing on my phone? '''Babushka: 'phone I'm just telling you...that isn't a raisin. 'Madison: '''Bye! '''Babushka: 'phone No! Don't hang up on- 'Madison: 'Babushka up and places phone back in pocket 'Samuel: '''So...how are we going to get a million bucks for the surgery? beeps '''Madison: 'phone out of pocket and opens up a video message 'Babushka: 'phone I know how you can get a million bucks! 'Madison: '''What did I tell you about appearing on my phone? '''Babushka: 'phone No, seriously! It's "Million Bucks Bill". He can give you a million dollars whenever you want! 'Phil, Madison and Samuel: 'Cheers 'Babushka: 'phone Just give him a call and he'll give you the money! 'Madison: '''What's his phone number? '''Babushka: 'phone 1000000. 'Madison: '''Of course it is. Thanks Babushka! up phone and dials Million Bucks Bill HOTEL ROOM '''Million Bucks Bill: '''Where can I sit? '''Phil: '''On the couch, there. '''Million Bucks Bill: 'down on couch and the couch breaks Sorry. 'Phil: '''Aw! I just bought that for twenty bucks at the ''Trash N Treasure ''store! '''Million Bucks Bill: '''What kind of money do you need? '''Phil: '''Okay, so the other day I had plastic surgery to remove a mole, and the doctors changed my appearance! '''Madison: '''And he needs a million dollars for the surgery. '''Million Bucks Bill: '''Okay, I'll see what I got. over and opens brief case. He pulls put a stack of money '''Madison: 'Samuel Wow; a big object coming out of a tiny brief case! Where have I seen that before? 'Million Bucks Bill: 'money on table 'Samuel: 'over and hugs the money 'Million Bucks Bill: '''Get me up, please. arms up so Madison and Phil could pull him up '''Madison and Phil: 'Million Bucks Bill up 'Million Bucks Bill: '''Thanks. But it's gonna cost you. fingers together '''Phil: '''Here. raisin out of pocket Have a raisin. '''Million Bucks Bill: '''Don't mind if I do! raisin and swallows it '''Madison: 'Gags 'Million Bucks Bill: '''That's actually pretty good. '''Madison: 'more 'Million Bucks Bill: '''Good day to you all! towards door and gets stuck in the door frame Um...a little help? '''Madison: '''Okay, ready guys? hands on Million Bucks Bill's back '''Phil and Samuel: 'and places hands on Million Bucks Bill's back 'Madison: '''One, two, three! '''Madison, Phil and Samuel: 'Million Bucks Bill out of door comes off 'Madison: 'up door Thanks so much! Wait...we have enough money for the surgery! door on ground 'Phil: '''Let's go to the hospital! '''Samuel: 'up money and heads out the door 'Phil: '''What about the door? '''Madison: '''Who cares? Come on! '''Phil and Madison: 'out door few seconds later after Madison, Phil and Samuel left 'Little Girl: 'inside the hotel room Open door! 'Little Girl's Mom: '''Don't worry. Daddy's down the hall. That's called the people who live in this place can't be bothered to get the door fixed. Come on. daughter away ''few seconds after the Little Girl and her mom leaves 'Burglar: 'over door on the floor, runs to the fridge and starts eating a cheese cake 'Matthew: 'into room Hey! 'Burglar: 'cheese cake on ground and raises his arms in surrender 'Matthew: '''That cheese cake was supposed to be for the kids! '''Burglar: 'crying and whimpering 'Matthew: '''There, there. burglar to the phone whilst patting him I'll call the police. HOSPITAL: RECEPTION '''Samuel: 'money on the counter 'Receptionist: '''So? '''Phil: '''I have the money for the surgery! Can you do it now? '''Receptionist: '''Fine. Come with me. HOSPITAL: OPERATING ROOM '''Receptionist: 'Phil Lie down. 'Phil: 'down Okay, I'm lying down now. 'Receptionist: '''Good. Now all I have to do is- '''Babushka: 'wheeled in by doctors on a bed in a splits position Hi guys. to get wheeled to the room next door Bye guys. 'Receptionist: '''Anyway, what I've done was put a little costume on you. I'm going to have to cut it off by using this... up sharp scalpel '''Phil: 'Gulps Um...shouldn't you use some numb cream or something? 'Receptionist: '''Don't worry, you won't feel a thing. scalpel on Phil's forehead '''Madison: '''Oh, I can't look! hands over eyes '''Receptionist: 'cuts down the center of Phil's body, takes apart the "costume", revealing the proper Phil 'Phil: 'up as a normal appearance Hi guys! '''Madison and Samuel: '''Phil! run up to hug him It was you all along! '''Phil: them back Yeah it was! 'Madison: 'receptionist Wait...this whole thing was a costume? 'Receptionist: '''Maybe... '''Samuel: '''But how did you get his voice to sound different? '''Receptionist: '''I did a few tweeks to his voicebox. '''Phil: 'Samuel and Madison Come on; let's go home! up 'Madison: '''Wait...what about Babushka? '''Samuel: '''Ehhh...she'll find her own way home. '''Phil, Samuel and Madison: 'the room still hugging each other HOTEL ROOM: 'Phil, Samuel and Madison: 'hugging each other as they enter the hotel room 'Matthew: '''Phil! You're back, man! '''Phil: '''I never left! hugs Madison and Samuel '''Matthew: '''I missed you buddy! Ha ha ha! Phil uncomfortable shoulder bumps Ha ha ha! '''Babushka: 'slowly into room holding thighs 'Madison: '''Whoa, Babushka! How was it like getting your legs back to normal? '''Babushka: '''Let me tell you; it wasn't easy... HOSPITAL - OPERATING ROOM '''Doctors: 'to push Babushka's legs back to normal 'Babushka: 'Grunts Come on! Keep pushing! from flashback: HOTEL ROOM 'Babushka: '''Yeah...it really hurt. So...Phil's back! Um...wow! '''Madison: '''It actually turned out that the other guy was him all along. '''Phil: '''Yeah, it's a miracle! '''Madison: '''Well, there's only one way to settle this! '''Samuel: '''What? '''Madison: '''Party! on party music on the stereo '''EVERYONE: 'wildly to the music 'Madison: '''Ready? 5, 6, 7, 8- '''EVERYONE: 'up and lands in splits hospital '''EVERYONE: '''Aw, here comes the pain! Category:Transcripts Category:Babysitter transcripts